Absence makes the heart grow fonder

“Absence makes the heart grow fonder” is a maxim Arthur Huntingdon uses to soothe Helen Huntingdon while he remains away. Its reassuring promise reverses the meaning of his absence: instead of answering her distress with a definite return, he presents the delay itself as evidence that he will love her more.

The saying as consolation

In a letter prompted by Helen’s bitter complaint, Arthur says that his many engagements prevent him from fixing the exact day of his return, though he assures her he will be with her before the end of the following week. He calls patience “that first of woman’s virtues” and invokes “Absence makes the heart grow fonder” as something she should remember and take comfort from. He further claims that the longer he stays away, the better he will love her when he comes back.

The maxim’s practical effect

The saying does not resolve the uncertainty that troubles Helen. His promise remains imprecise, and the explanation of his absence rests on his own account of being occupied. Against Helen’s recurring questions about what keeps him away, the maxim offers a general proverb in place of concrete reassurance; its confident logic asks her to interpret separation as a gain rather than a source of anxiety.

Unequal correspondence

Arthur’s appeal to patience is paired with a request that Helen continue writing to him constantly. He admits that he is sometimes too idle and often too busy to answer her letters as they arrive, yet says he likes to receive them daily. The contrast gives the proverb an ironic edge: absence is framed as strengthening his love, while the correspondence that sustains their connection is expected chiefly from Helen. The maxim thus reveals less about a mutual comfort than about the unequal terms on which Arthur asks her to wait.